Happy Birthday to Me!

I love birthdays. I don't know why, but I just love them. I love making a fuss over them and I love even more when it's my own! Today is my birthday and this year it wasn't a fuss that I knew I needed (although, I did enjoy the one I got :) ). I knew exactly what I needed to do today.

So when my pre-natal appointment ended this afternoon and I found myself with an hour to myself I did what I really needed. I laced up my shoes and I ran. I needed the time and the space to really reflect on the last year and everything that's happened and running has become the method to my madness. About this time last year I really committed to my running and training for my 1/2 marathon and it became a way to feel strong and confident about myself. A way to blow of steam. A way to leave the world behind. A way to pray and think. A way to escape and sift through emotions and thoughts. In doing all of that, I gained confidence and courage in more ways then I knew I could.

It's about half way through 2013 and "courage" was the word that I chose to live this year by. I can see it threaded through not only 2013 so far but every inch of my last year.

This time last year we had the courage to put our house up in a (very) saturated market as Jason resigned from his job and accepted a new one in Halifax (finally!!) and we started to embark into a very unknown journey.

We moved to Halifax without having sold our house, lived with my parents in their 2 bedroom condo (love you guys!) as we waited and prayed that our house would sell. That we could buy a new one and finally feel settled.

I had the courage to step away from a very comfortable job which would soon be a home-based office, to do what I knew was right for me and accepted a new role with the bank (which I am so glad I did).

I had the courage to train for (and complete!) my first ever half marathon (and definitely not the last!).

We, as a family, had the courage to grow our family and find ourselves on a new an exciting journey of expecting a new life!

And finally, most heartbreakingly, I had the courage to sit and hold the hand of my most amazing Aunt and friend as she breathed in her last hours of life.

There have been so many changes over this past year. And a lot of highs...and a lot of lows. But we have been so blessed. We are settled and happy in our move and new house. We have been encouraged by the new (and some old) friendships that we've made and relationships with family we've grown. Gabe is amazing and my heart overflows with love for him everyday.

But without courage, none of that 27th year would have been possible. I never thought one year of life could hold so much triumph and heartache, but it has. I'm glad to be ending on year and starting a new one. A stronger, more confident, happier and more courageous me.

Happy Birthday to Me.

 

 

A word for 2013

I was inspired by my friend ( & fantastic blogger ) Laura  to choose a word for 2012, and set my sights on one to live 2013 by. Choosing a word for 2013 was a non-issue for me, and I will get to that in a minute. But choosing a word to sum up all that was 2012, that was a great challenge.

2012 was a year of big changes for me and my family. There were big decisions. Many sleepless nights. Lots of health-scares with my extended family (that continue to haunt our lives). But it was also a year of warm and heartfelt memories (we took our 18 month old to Disney after all!) and a year of finally coming home, which was a long journey.

It was a year of dark, dark days that I was not sure I would be able to keep my head about water and see the light of day out of. But it was also a year of seeing the sun shining through as darkness drew to a close on each new morning.

It was a year of not knowing when, or why or how. But in reflecting back, so much of the unknowns become to crystal clear and when I really think about the year...it was a year of faithfulness.

So faithfulness is the word I choose to sum up 2012. Knowing that all things happen for a reason. Looking back and knowing that God walked us through every storm and was smiling on our every happy moment. And I feel so glad knowing that I can label 2012 so confidently with that word - something that, had I of been asked halfway through the year, I was not sure I could do.

On the cusp of 2013 I remember sitting in the car with my husband and telling him I was not sure that I could face 2013. But here it is upon us. I felt like its presence loomed over us for a long time as is haunted me. And then it just came, like a whisper in the night along with all of my fear of facing it.

I know that 2013 as some demons that I have to face, and they scare me. 

But I also know that I will accomplish some great personal goals in 2013 (my like running my first half!) I know that it will be exciting to watch my baby boy continue to grow into even less of a baby and more of a boy. In saying that, it is with courage that I have chosen to take on this new year! 

Courage: The ability to confront fear, 

pain, 

danger, 

uncertainty 

or intimidation.

Courage to be the best mom and wife that I can be as I continue to strive for a better balance. 

Courage to meet my personal goals despite the fear in my head telling me that I can not do it.

Courage to face all that 2013 has in store and know that I will continue to experience the same faithfulness that saw me through 2012.

So here is to 2013, a year of courage.  
    

12 pictures for 12 months

The New Normal

Saturday morning:

Wake up

Play "mini sticks" with my husband and little man

Go out for family breakfast at Cora's (YUM)

Go downtown

Pick up Racekit

Come home and watch Gabe play with his grandparents for a little while

Head out to swimming lessons

...and then it's 10:30 am

Sunday morning:

Wake up

Snuggle on the couch with Gabe and watch cartoons

Eat breakfast and give Gabe some breakfast

Get ready to head out and drive downtown

Watch a friend complete her 7km of a relay we were participating in

Run my own 7km of the relay

Pack up my car to drive back home (to warm up!!)

...and then it's 10:30 am

It amazes me the amount that I accomplish in mornings now that I'm a mom. Gabe wakes me up at the crack of dawn (I won't get into the specifics of those very scary early morning figures!), and by 10:30 everyday I've accomplished more in one morning usually then I had all day pre-baby (especially on weekends).

Would I love to stay snuggled up in bed for a Saturday morning not even getting up until 10:30 am? And then lazily hang out in my PJ's with a steaming cup of tea and nothing to do? Sure.

But I wouldn't trade our "new normal" for a million sleep-in mornings in the world. Because he is the best.