When a birth story isn't what you "planned"

When I was pregnant with Gabe, I wrote up a birth plan just like you are told to do in your pre-natal classes. However, it all got thrown to the waste-side when I ended up having an unplanned C-Section due to fetal distress.

Never once was I disappointed that I had to have a C-Section. I never felt the need to have a "natural" birth. But I'm not going to lie, the recovery was horrific. So when I learned I was pregnant this time I was determined to have more control over the birth story of this baby. I opted for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and got right to work preparing for a successful one. 

It wasn't that I felt the need to experience childbirth, or was opposed to medical intervention through another C-Section. It was really just the recovery that concerned me. There was no way I could have the recovery that I did when I had Gabe - except this time I would have not only a newborn, but a 3-year-old in tow to recovery with. So I did research on VBAC's, I talked to doula's on how to be successful, I went to pre-natal Yoga and prepared mentally for labour. 

Then at 37 weeks I learned my baby was fully breach. Since I didn't want to deliver breach or do an external rotation, we looked to schedule a C-Section. Our baby suprised both us and our Dr when she flipped into head down position at 39 1/2 weeks. We were faced with the decision to have the C-Section as planned (which we were very mentally prepared for, since it was only 3 days away) or go ahead and wait and try for a VBAC as originally planned. After much thought we decided to wait. And wait. And wait...until finally 41 1/2 weeks came and I wasn't progressing, at all. 

At this point my options were a foley cathetar to try and force progression, or a C-Section. Since I've had a C-Section before my options were somewhat limited when it comes to trying to induce labour and the Dr really wouldn't let me go past 42 weeks. We decided that we had tried enough for a VBAC and it was time to go with the C-Section and met our baby already. That was Thursday morning. Our Dr told us she would call us later that day after she found some OR time.

We waited. 4 o'clock and no call.

5 o'clock and no call. 

We finally decided that Dr probably wasn't going to call today. And since she wasn't in the office on Friday that likely meant we were going to go another weekend without our baby. 

Then 6 o'clock the phone rang. Dr wanted us to come down to the hospital and she was going to get us in tonight. I freaked out a little bit. That was so...soon. I had to say goodbye to my sweet baby boy who, after tonight, would no longer be my only baby. I was nervous for what lay ahead and heartbroken to leave Gabe.

Once we got admitted to the hospital we were so fortunate and blessed to have a friend as our L&D nurse. She brought me more encouragement and comfort then I think she realized. And by 1:35AM Addilyn made her appearance into the world.

I thought I would be disappointed by her birth story. But the moment that sweet girl was laid on my chest during her first few breaths of life, it just didn't matter anymore. The wait was over. The decisions were over. She was finally here. I was so overjoyed.

I thought that I would struggle to multiply my love between my two babies. But with Addy, my love grew instantaneously. I was so overwhelmed with love for my sweet girl that with her first heartbeat it was as though I could barely remember my life our life as a family before her.

The thing is, when Gabe entered the world he made Jason and I into a family and that was the sweetest gift he could have ever given us. When Addy entered the world she completed our family. It felt like we were finally a whole unit. The way we were always meant to be. A perfect family of four. And that's the best gift she could have ever given us.

I am beyond grateful for my two babes, even though neither of their birth stories were what I would have planned or expected - it doesn't even matter anymore. I have more love then my heart can hold.